Now I’m running Fedora on foo, bar, baz, and moo. I’m not sure if
I’m ready to install it on tic, but it may very well happen.
I’m considering installing it on some Iodynamics servers!
That’s how nice it is.
Hecticus Maximus
As yesterday was Thanksgiving, Christine sent some e-mail to the family
mailing list saying how thankful she was to be a member of the family and
all. I followed it up with one of my own. I expressed my thanks to Smoochy* and
Jennie for letting us live in their house. I also expressed sadness
they were having marital problems and expressed hope they could make
progress.
It has been frustrating and sad to witness, firsthand, Smoochy* and
Jennie's marriage fall apart these last few months. We're very grateful
to both of them for letting us live in their house and we're glad we
could be there for Jennie. We hope Smoochy* can find the help he needs to
become a better person and we hope Jennie can remain strong and
happy.
I spent a good deal of time wordsmithing this particular paragraph
because I didn’t want to say something like, “We hope Smoochy*
figures out he’s a nut-job and gets some treatment.” I really
wanted my message to be positive and to convey a sincere sentiment.
Boy, was it received the wrong way.
First off, Smoochy* sent me the following e-mail:
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:12:03 -0700
Subject: reply
If you want to openly ridicule me on the family newsletter then you can
openly apoligize too. You have just as many faults as the next person but
I don't openly ridicule you. I'm waiting for an open apology. It was not
called for.
I wasn’t around when he sent the e-mail. I’m guessing he was
waiting impatiently for my response because twenty minutes later, I
received this:
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:33:52 -0700
Subject: reply
And I do expect the apology today. I asked you kindly to act with
courtesy but you have not done that. After everything I have done for
you, this is no way to act. Sure, you did thank me for opening up my home
but such acts as this - lashing out like publicly is stooping pretty low.
You know that you are no better of a person than I am. Why the Provo
style better than thou attitude? I would think that you would be the last
person to act in such a manner. Such things offer no contribution.
I was really blown away. I didn’t think I had said anything which
could be interpretted as “lashing out.” I didn’t say
anything about me being better than him.
Then, twenty minutes later...
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:58:47 -0700
Subject: Re: reply
Kind of odd. Why don't you also mention on there that you hope you can do
what you can to become a better person too? Why point out me in
particular when you have at least as many problems - not to be rude at
all, but why point me out when you are no better?
So... I wrote back... hoping to explain that I hadn’t meant any
offense, that I really did hope things would get better for him.
I am sorry you were offended by my saying that I hope you get the help you
need to become a better person, but what I said is not something I should
apologize for saying. Every other member of the family mailing list is
aware of the situation and, from conversations we've had as a family, they
sympathize with what I said. Your reaction to what was said (which was said
because I care) is exactly why I feel the way I do.
Smoochy*’s response was eerie:
You are right Doran. We all know about you and care about your problems
just as much. I'm sorry and realize I ought to be somewhat more open.
I had to go do a wiring job at this point. Christine called me about two
hours later to tell me she was a little shook up because Smoochy* was airing
some dirty laundry on the family mailing list. When I checked, this is what
I saw:
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 13:49:44 -0700
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgivingy
I'm very thankful for all that I have too. I certainly hope we have been
helpful in providing a temporary residence for the Barton family and in
providing them some income opportunities as well. I know it can be
difficult and we all have our trials along the way. It was a welcome
experience to have the Barton family and we wish we could do more.
Understanding Christine's desire for a divorce some time ago can now be
understood but I'm glad she was able to deal with the circumstances. We
all hope that Doran can gain the desire and find a reason to attend
church. We were all equally concerned when we heard about the video taping
of freshly finger-painted topless, intoxicated women. Nevertheless, we are
still here for you Doran, and we all urge you to choose to turn things
around. We all must remember that families can be forever, but only in
under God's plan which He has set forth.
Alright. Even if it was true that I had intended some offense with my
“hope you get the help you need to become a better person”
message, Smoochy* was clearly taking the gloves off, going below the belt, and
more.
I probably should explain what I can about what Smoochy* said. Christine and
I don’t know what he means about Christine wanting a divorce. She
felt like divorcing me back in 97 when I was having trouble in school and
got depressed. It never went past general frustration and we worked it out.
The church thing... heh. I’m not even sure I should go
there.It’s kind of a personal thing.
As for the finger-painted women... They weren’t videotaped — I
took still photographs. And they weren’t intoxicated. Well, they
might have been, but not enough to be obvious. I thought they looked cool
and they agreed to let me photograph them. You can see some of the
pictures I took here.
Smoochy* has two sisters who have been in school studying art. I wonder how
he feels about them drawing nudes. Heh heh. I guess we better have an
intervention and help them see the err of their ways.
My biggest question is this: “Why is Smoochy* talking like he’s
representing a group of people?”
I found his message really amusing, actually, because I could tell he
was going for shock and embarrassment. In the end, he only embarrassed
himself and shocked everyone else in the family because of his shallowness,
immaturity, and over-reactiveness.
I didn’t bother replying.
Christine did, though.
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 15:05:26 -0700
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgivingy
Apparently Smoochy* felt the need to advertise his immaturity. No need Smoochy*, we
already knew.
And Smoochy* replied within 10 minutes:
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 15:15:31 -0700
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgivingy
We only know what you tell us yourself Christine. No need for harsh words.
Whoa. Smoochy* airs what he thinks is dirty, incriminating tidbits about me
and then tells Christine there’s “no need for harsh
words.” This isn’t a new phenomenon with Smoochy*. Par for the
course for his hypocritical behavior. It used to be fun to point this kind
of stuff out. Now it’s just sad.
Jennie replied later in the evening to Smoochy*’s message.
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 21:28:30 -0700
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgivingy
Was this email really necessary? I was disappointed in seeing this email
from you. I don't understand where you come off attacking Doran or
Christine for that matter. I know you've had your "down" times with each
other, but this was rude as far as I'm concerned and I feel you owe
Doran and Christine an apology. Anything they have said or done was out
of concern for me, for you and for the help that we as a couple need to
get, for the help that we need individually. They have been such a
blessing in our lives and I hope in the near future that you will see
that as well. I hope that you can see what has been said, what will be
said for what it is worth not anything else.
Don't we all hope for everyone in life, our family, our friends, our
neighbors to do the things in their life that would make them better
people, stronger for that matter? We all are at stages in our lives,
and we all have trials, and its up to us how we handle them, for the
better or for the worse. Pointing fingers or throwing things in others
faces doesn't help nor is it Christlike, and its just plain rude as far
as I'm concerned. We are all in this life together, we are family, we
are friends, can we not see that we are here for one another, to help
one another and sometimes we are told things that perhaps we don't want
to hear, or that we feel like we need to put up our defense up for some
reason or another. That is when we need to back away from whatever it
is, and see the whole picture. And for what its worth, not read between
the lines. Can we not work together, learn from one another, and not be
so stubborn that pride and whatever else is sacraficed for what could be
so wonderful. Smoochy*, I do love you, I do want things to work out, and I
know everyone else does as well --- there is such potential in any
marriage, family, extended family and right now we are all being
affected by what is and has gone on. If we would keep the Lord in our
life, in our decisions, keep the covenants we've made in the temple,
work together, respect and understand one anothers thoughts, do what it
takes to keep the love alive - because it is work, a deep love doesn't
just come just because. You, we have to work at it hard, every day for
the rest of our lives.
Jennie’s good.